Friday Timboy

This is my firsts post from work- so I’ll probably be sacked soon.

I can’t honestly say that I’ve enjoyed watching the Socceroos play in the last ten years. I love them, but each match feels like some form of drawn out anxiety attack! Qualifying, penalty shoot outs, come from behind draws. The Socceroos are a national ordeal, a burden shouldered by all.

Seeing as people are so offended by the word ‘soccer’ at the moment I think the Socceroos should be renamed the Skippyroos. This is mainly because somebody calling themselves ‘Lebanese Legend’ posted that Zeljko Kalac is a ‘Skippy Poof’ this morning on the SMH blog. Having a bunch of Wogs, Poofs and Sheilas as Johnny Warren would say running around as the Skippyroos would be funny.

Finally, can somebody tell me what a cutting edge conformist is? Listing examples, less than 500 words preferably. Whoever posted that is a dropkick.

My tribute to the Socceroos in haiku

At a crucial time
There came a great and wise man
Super Guus Hiddink

Muffin Face

Today I had a blueberry muffin for breakfast at work. I had a few bits of blueberry stuck to my lips for about two hours while I sat at my computer and did some work for various people.

I was stuffed after staying up to watch the brave Socceroos go toe to toe with the Brazilians. IThat's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

About 10 people would have seen me with Blueberry muffin painted over my face like a two year old. Nobody mentioned it at all.

What has me vexed is whether this was a display of politeness, or an unwillingness to assit someone who clearly needed a bit of a heads up?

I think it's kind of nice that people didn't mind or notice how stupid I looked.

What do you jokes think?

Could This Be The End?

Cyclingnews Reports:

'Latest deadline for VDB on June 21

The team management of Unibet.com have been more than patient with their "leader" Franck Vandenbroucke, who has barely raced for the outfit this season. Hilaire Van der Schueren has now set up one last deadline for the 'enfant terrible' of Belgian cycling: June 21. If the rider hasn't raced until then, "it can't go on," according to the team manager.

VDB is thus scheduled to take part in a kermesse in Ruddevoorde on June 20, followed by Halle-Ingooigem on the next day and the Belgian Championships on Sunday, June 25 in Antwerpen.'

It's good to see that he's being paid a fortune by yet another team, and generally not bothering to turn up to races.

Legend!

The 'hardcore' unemployed

Isn't it good to see the Australian lumping the long term unemployed in with hardcore drug addicts and hardcore criminals. This is possibly the greatest example of Unspeak I have found so far. Through use of the word 'hardcore' The Australian frames the long termed unemployed as criminal lowlifes rather than the diverse group of people that they are. By using the word 'hardcore' the Australian seems to be hinting at erradication rather than training and skilling. We are dealing with people here not weeds or pests. The message is clear- the long-term unemployed are recalcitrant dole bludgers who cannot help themselves. This meaning-loaded description ignores the fact that many long term unemployed people are victims of structural reform to the economy that has been ongoing in Australia for 20 years. The skills they possess no longer apply to the modern Australian economy. Do these people need to be weeded out, or do they need to be re-trained?

Good to see the Australian's editorial position hasn't changed- tough on the poor, easy on the rich seems to be their mantra. People are poor because we haven't made life hard enough for them yet. It's an odd, heavy hearted sort of reasoning that propels them. It's the old Thatcher/ Hewson mentality that reaching back to lift up the poor drags the rest of us down. And you can throw in a bit of downward envy also- 'I work really hard and these dole bludgers get paid for doing nothing'.

This quote is worrying:

'On July 1, the long-term unemployed will be split into two groups, with "job shirkers" -- the people the Howard Government believes are not serious about looking for work -- required to participate in full-time work-for-the-dole programs. Another 7000 places will be available each year for employers to hire unemployed people who are not shirkers.'

How on earth do you identify a 'shirker', and how is excluding the demotivated and downhearted from training supposed to be of any benefit to these people, the economy or society in general.

Adelaide

I got sent to Adelaide for a training course with work last week. I have to say that the city is looking much better than it did the last time I went there which was about five years ago. Although I didn't stay long, I did have the time to make some superficial observations.

1. Crickets chirping and Tumbleweeds: For a relatively big city, the thing that you notice immediately is how few people there are floating around the place.

2. Coopers tastes better in Adelaide: Drink local, think global.

3. The inferiority complex: People in Adelaide have a massive chip on their shoulders vis-a-vis Melbourne and Sydney. It's like the Melbourne-Sydney rivalry gone completely rabid. The great outlet for this inferioty complex is AFL football, which men talk about obsessively like nowhere else in the world- not even the home of football (Melbourne!).

4. Democrats last stand: Adelaide is full of ideologically wayward democrats supporters. I didn't spot any conspicious bruvvers while in Adelaide, but you can spot a democrats supporter from a mile off. The way they mix outdoor adventure gear, beads, and bohemian looking jewellery with expensive european business attire. They don't know if they're Greens or Tories- so they go around looking like a mish mash of both. The local newspaper the Advertiser still writes about the Democrats like they are a political party that actually matters- rather than a rabble consisting of Doctor's wives, small 'l' liberals and various other wets.

5. The hills are beautiful and so close to the city. Adelaide looks like a great city to ride bikes about. There aren't any freeways, so you can virtually ride wherever you want.

6. The water doesn't taste like it's come out of the bottom of the Box Hill municipal swimming pool anymore, although it still has that sickly Big M-thick consistency.

All in al a lovely trip, and I'd love to spend some more time there in the future. I wouldn't getting stuck into the local grog a bit more either!