On love

"It seems we always fall short of the mark when we try to explain or justify love in terms of a list of qualities that the beloved contingently possesses. Worse still, those who go looking for love armed with a checklist of essential qualities of the kind to be found in personal advertisements, '35-40 years old, C of E, non-smoking, professional, sporty, good sense of humour, likes cats, arthouse movies and Sichuan cuisine' seem unlikely to find it.

And the reason is that love is essentially open-ended. In loving someone, we embark on a journey whose path and destination is largely unknown. Love takes us hostage to fortune. It binds us to the wheel and woe of the beloved in ways we could not have anticipated and cannot reject. To be genuinely open to being someone's close friend or lover, is precisely to admit to yourself that you're not entirely sure where the journey will take you. And this truism about love is one that the quality's view has a hard time accounting for."

Jeanette Kennett