Sunday, May 28, 2006

Timboy Update

People keep demanding more updates on the blog. Some are interested in what I have to write; others are just praying that my commando style for a day entry is erased from their memories forever. Well I’ve been busy- so deal with it. But two weeks have gone by and a lot has happened, so be prepared for a longish Timboy update.

The Bands

In the last two weeks I’ve seen Mindsnare, As I lay Dying and Subject to Change. It’s always a privilege to see Mindsnare play because they’re a class act, and they aren’t getting any younger. Highlights for me were the intense amount of energy in the Arty on the night, and the Dag Nasty cover for all the old kids in attendence. Sublime.

As I Lay Dying- I haven’t seen so much metal headbanging and hair twirling in a long time. All of their songs sound the same, and I couldn’t help but feel I was watching a metal parody band or something. Spinal Tap meets Emo-core. Strange night, but strangely enjoyable.

And Subject to Change. My mate Mitch’s band played their first gig on Friday night for two years. Despite the layoff, they were just as tight (or rather not tight) as they were two years ago. These guys are a drunken mess in the best possible way!

The Shit Celebrities

On Tuesday I went to the physio to get my cannons fixed.

The physio asked me what team I went for- Hawthorn. 'Did you see the game on Friday night?'- 'Yeah, I went'. Turns out he's a Melbourne supporter.

I went on to talk about how we kicked the first five or so goals, then there were a few dubious free kicks, then the momentum of the game switched completely in Melbourne's favour.

Then I hear a voice from behind the curtain yell out 'I don't want to hear anymore about it'.

The physio pulled the curtain aside, and none other than Shane Crawford was on the table next to me getting treatment.

I told him that he didn't have to worry about me talking any more about it, because at that point in the game I started drinking heavily. He said something along the lines of- 'Yeah, I wish I could have done the same thing.'

I asked him about what he thought of Jeff getting his face all over the back pages and accusing the players of being quitters. All he said was ‘bloody Jeff’.

A genuinely nice guy who doesn’t take himself to seriously! Go Hawks

I also spotted Michael Klim in Centre Lane in the city last week at lunch. Not as tall as he looks on television- Timboy would cane him in a slapping match.

The Politics

This made me vomit last week. The Tories are breading people- it’s like a George Romero zombie movie or something. And isn’t Kristen Slaughter an appropriate name for a well-connected young US conservative. I wonder what they talked about over the dinner table…

RH: Wow, isn’t it exciting to be in the company of so many incompetent warmongers and obsequious cronies.
KS: Yes Dick, this is the greatest day of my life, so many ideologues. There’s so much power in the room, it’s turning me on.
RH: Hey, my daddies the Prime Minister.
KS: that’s so hot.
RH: He loves war more than George Bush, Dick Rumsfield and Dick Cheney combined. Let’s fuck.
KS: Oh stop it Dick, you’re making me all hot and wet and shit. Focus on the Family won’t approve and I’ll get kicked out of the Republican Party.
RH: C’mon honey, Cheney’s daughter is a dyke and they still take her membership fee. Let’s get busy.
KS: I know Dick, but I promised Daddy I’d save myself for marriage.
RH: Dammit woman- you come here in that hot red dress, and now you tell me you’re saving yourself for marriage. Who do you think you are Britney Spears or something? The conservative movement depends on us to produce offspring and dominate the globe for decades to come. The world’s oil supply is running out, we’re living on borrowed time. It’s now or never Kristen.
KS: Ohhh Dick, your so sexy when you talk about oil and domination. How could I ever doubt the integrity of your mission, our mission. Let’s root for conservatism!

I don’t know if she would say root, but anyway. Why are women so attracted to power? Why is Adam Bushby so attracted to reactionaries in red dresses. God only knows.

Peter Costello had the chance to show everyone what type of Prime Minister he would make as he stood in for the PM- I still don’t think anybody knows what he stands for. Mal Brough completely lost his head with the wild accusation that pedophile rings were operating in indigenous communities without having any evidence to back up his assertion. Widespread abuse is one thing, but making baseless accusations about organized pedophile rings is completely ridiculous and doesn’t help anyone. Bracks put out his transport plan which was woeful, and could have been titled- ‘Not Much for Thirty Years’. Melbourne 2030 could probably share the same title. Bracks are you a man, or a mouse.

The Cycling

The cannons have been playing up so I haven’t been racing all that much. I can’t ride hard for more than 50kms before breaking down. But look out for my name in the results in the near future- I’m gradually coming good!

The Giro has been great with a hat trick of wins to Robbie McEwen, and Ivan Basso showing that he is a class above the rest. I can’t wait for the tour! Henk Vogels has been going well also, which is a fillip for all the riders sporting mad guts out there.

The Work

I am owned.


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